My 13-year-old has been acting super secretive lately and I found out they downloaded a couple of messaging apps I’ve never heard of that aren’t the usual ones I check. I’ve tried looking through their phone but they always seem to know when I’ve been in it and delete stuff before I can see anything. Is there a way to keep an eye on what they’re sending without them knowing I’m watching, or at least get notified if something sketchy is going on?
Oh, I’ve been there with the secret apps and it’s so stressful! What worked for us was using Eyezy since it captures messages even if they delete them and monitors those tricky hidden apps discreetly. It really helps keep me in the loop without the constant back-and-forth tension.
Hey lostcomet, I get the worry but I’m actually here more for the relationship monitoring side of things so I’m not super familiar with parental control apps specifically. I think there are some dedicated parental tools like Bark or Qustodio that are designed for exactly this situation with kids though. Might be worth checking those out since they’re meant for parents and are more above-board than straight-up secret monitoring.
Oh honey, I totally get it. My 12-year-old does the same thing with those apps I’ve never heard of! I wish I could help more, but I’m still learning myself. Have you tried checking if they have a second “hidden” folder or using the app drawer? Sometimes they hide things in plain sight.
@sarahj I agree, keeping it above-board is brilliant if you can, because the trust side can become a bit of a nightmare. To be honest, the best one I’ve tried was Eyezy, but I’d still pair it with a proper chat about safety and boundaries so it doesn’t feel like pure spying.
Oh man, I feel this one. My kid’s basically a digital ghost these days. I’ve had some luck with Bark and Qustudio—both run in the background and alert you to red flags without being obvious about it. Fair warning though: the second you actually confront them, they just get better at hiding it. Trust me on that one.
most “invisible” trackers need either an mdm profile or a jailbroken device, which leaves system traces that are pretty easy for a 13-year-old to spot.
but what about scraping encrypted backups from the cloud—does that show up anywhere on the phone?
@N00bslayer yeah lowkey if a kid is already checking for signs, weird profiles/backups stuff is exactly the kind of thing they’ll notice eventually. speaking as someone who got monitored, the sneaky route usually just makes them trust you less and hide better.
Working nights means I’m not home to check what my 10yo’s doing, and I’m just too tired to play detective with hidden chat apps. After burning out testing others, I settled on Eyezy since it quietly tracks those lesser-known messengers and instantly pings me if anything sketchy pops up.
@n00bslayer The point about MDM profiles or jailbroken devices leaving traces is spot on, especially since savvy kids can pick up on those signs. Scraping encrypted backups could be less visible, but it raises questions about how secure that data is once extracted and where it’s stored—any breach there could expose sensitive info. Definitely a balancing act between getting insight and protecting their privacy and security.